Ever wondered how to write a prosperous query letter? You may see a lot of advice on how to write such a letter, but may still need some help in getting a optical image of how one should look. Take the following query letter as a optical example and heed some cautions in the parenthesis, which are coarse errors made by new writers.
Sample Query Letter
Personal Thank You Letters
Pen Wright
123321 Published Blvd.
Los Angeles, California 90089-9021
July 11, 2008
Letter Learning Fairy and Her Heart (BIRTHDAY) 6 Pack (Educational Greeting Cards for Kids) Best
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Letter Learning Fairy and Her Heart (BIRTHDAY) 6 Pack (Educational Greeting Cards for Kids) Feature
- Greeting cards designed to help improve kids' reading, writing, handwriting and spelling skills in a fun and stress-free way!
- Designed to help young children (~4-8), and anyone else who needs a little help! But, people of all ages will love to receive them!
Letter Learning Fairy and Her Heart (BIRTHDAY) 6 Pack (Educational Greeting Cards for Kids) Overview
This fab fairy helps wish anyone and everyone a very happy birthday! Easy-to-trace message inside reads: Dear (blank), Have a super birthday. You are awesome! Love, (blank) All cards are: 5" x 7" (portrait). Printed on heavyweight stock that is pencil-, marker- and pen-friendly. Paired with a matching colored envelope (white is sometimes used as a best match). Protected by greeting card plastic sleeves. Bundled and "bowed" with adorable ribbon.
Customer Reviews
*** Product Information and Prices Stored: Jan 09, 2012 23:45:17
Submissions Editor (It is best to get a personal name instead of a job description)
Mundane Publishing
10000 Cliché St.
New York, Ny 10003
Dear Sir: (Unless the agent/editor is a woman, which is all the time best as it shows you've done your research)
Hello. I am a writer and novelist and am concerned in your publishing house. (Sentence is already understood and unnecessary) What if you were torn between two lovers, one simple and sweet and the other brilliant but troubled? (Clichéd, though the "what if" is a good introduction) What if you knew years in progress exactly how your life would turn out as well as the fates of both of these paramours? Would you try and result your heart or change your destiny? (Nice use of recurring personal questions) What if a poisonous spider was to blame for all your life's troubles? (Awkward. Don't start with a cliché and add a bizarre, out-of-nowhere twist to remedy it)
These are the questions Athena Linworth must settle in my novel, "Web Of Love." (A good idea to keep the reader guessing) Athena all the time knew what her future would be from portentous dreams and disturbing hallucinations. She knew one day she would marry David Ravett and break the heart of Matthew Porte.
Despairing at her planned future, she decides to change her fate and do the opposite of what instinct tells her. A series of catastrophic events soon follows, putting her back in the arms of David and estranged from the affections of Matthew. Meannwhile, (misspelled word, will assuredly count against you) Athena fixates on a poisonous spider wondering why it is indestructible and why it seems to taunt her when tragedy ensues. (Bizarre plot to say the least, but a good idea to tell it in gift tense. This adds much more excitement than a past-tense summary. Some agents/editors will recommend that you settle the story in the query letter. This is left up to your discretion, but make sure it is captivating).
The completed manuscript is ready upon request. (Good idea to stress that it is completed, though most editors assume this much. Do not state that it's nearly completed; make sure it's completely written and proofread before submitting!)
A Sase is included for your convenience. (Always contain Sase if you want a reply)
I have been a writer all my life and enjoy writing fiction. (Irrelevant) I have had 10 books self-published over the past five years. (Do not mention self-published or vanity-published titles unless you can prove they have had some noteworthy sales. E-Magazines might also be met with some skepticism) I was also voted "most creative personality in my school's writing program. (Do not mention any honors or contests unless you know it is a recognized achievement)
Thank you for your consideration. I of course appreciate you giving this opening to new writers. I've all the time loved your work and appreciate you taking the time to do this. Hopefully, we can publish this book! (Really lame, try not to brownnose beyond just a sentence. A simple thank you is normally enough)
I look send to hearing from you soon. (This is fine, since it shows you have a time limit in mind, but assume the agent/editor will retort within the approved 1-4 months.)
Cordially,
Pen Wright (signed)
Pen Wright (printed)
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